9/365

Animals: Choose an animal. Write about it

i rest before sleep to remain restless for the majority of the evening, so that up until dawn, i lay awake in a trance of unprovoked thought. i have come to understand and realize that as a person i am not sad, i am not depressed, i am what i allow myself to be. even as i write i begin to feel as though i am elevating upwards towards something new, a sort of enlightenment or sorts, an aufklärung. i understand who i am and why i am this way.

life is a constant struggle of understanding why we are reactionary to principles we can’t control, but if given enough thought, we can understand we are doing what we are inadvertently apart of.

i have found answers beyond what i thought capable. my minds thinks freely and more abstract, i am more human because what makes me human is what i don’t understand about myself. i understand all this now. my body is not and my existence is not, but me as a being that has come to understand what i am and who i am, well that is more than me.

one needs to begin to traverse the perils of self-understanding and wallow in the incomprehensible and appreciate it. we are flawed and we hate what we are, but we are just that.

so then what? we hate ourselves and forlorn? the opposite though, appreciate the very ideas that we are more than our physical self; love yourself for just that.

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