4/365

Dancing: Who’s dancing and why are they tapping those toes?

I’ve heard them dancing for 4 days now. 4 days. 4 days, nonstop, consistent, without missing a beat. I don’t know what could be the situation that entails 4 days worth of nonstop stomping around, dancing, but it couldn’t be anything human. I was starting to suspect that whatever was happening in the apartment above me was something supernatural, or something sinister.

I had to narrow down what it was before I approached the door myself; so I scoped-it-out for 45 minutes with my ear against the door. I tried to listen for whatever I could; I didn’t hear anything, no music, no dancing, no singing, the room sounded like it was never hollowed out but just a large dense square. I stepped away from the door and assessed it accordingly.

It couldn’t have been aliens, so i ruled that out of my list of “Things That Could Be Dancing For 4 Days Straight;” I didn’t believe in aliens, which made it even easier to check off my list. Only a nut-job with a tinfoil starter cap would believe in green men hovering over our planet. It had to be something else. I assessed my list of possibilities.

Things That Could Be Dancing For 4 Days Straight: (Written in order from Most Likely to Not Very Likely but Still Likely)

  • Ghost
  • Spirits
  • Demons
  • Lions
  • Witches
  • Wardrobes
  • Drug-addicts
  • Drug-addicts dressed as ghost performing a ritual
  • People Dancing
  • Anything else that resembles something sinister aside from aliens or all things extraterrestrial.

This is my list and I’m sticking to it. Now, the plan of figuring out what could possibly be happening in that room. If it’s ghosts, spirits, or demons, my greatest tool will be any kind of evidence capturing device. It’s common knowledge that what ghosts, spirits, and demons fear the most is being exposed in their naked, phantom bodies for the physical realm to mock and plaster across internet websites. I plan to bring with me a headlamp with a mini camera attached to it and a larger, the size of a shoe, sized camera that’ll be recording the whole thing. If there is a ghost, spirit, or demon in there, it’ll fade away in fear and the dreaded, metronome, tap-dancing will stop. Checkmate.

But what if it’s not a ghost, spirit, or demon, though very unlikely it’s not, i will have to prepare for the other options. Next is Lions. I read in a philosophy book once that lions may use waygates resembling that of a wardrobe. If my fears, and calculations are correct, it could have entered into our dimension and has begun wrecking havoc in that apartment trying its hardest to get out. Now, one might wonder: But if it’s a lion it would get tired and stop moving after 4 days. Yes. Yes this would be true for any ordinary lion, but this is, if a lion, a magical lion that never gets tired; meaning, it’s been searching 4 days straight on how to exit the apartment. I believe the course of action is to either wait for it to go back home through the waygate and once it has, enter the room and lock it. On the likely event it’ll never return home and continue to tap dance, i’ll have no choice but to put out an ad on the Republican chat board in my city for one lucky person to have the chance to kill a Lion and pose with it. This is, of course, not the favored plan.

Next, a witch. This would be similar to the Lion regarding its origin and the patients needed to wait until she or he goes back home. I put the witch lower on the list because, and it seems like this is a perfect moment to express my wisdom and logic over the situation, if it is a witch, she clearly has the human knowledge to open the door with her evolutionary gifts. This is why I don’t believe strongly it’s the witch; however, I do believe it could be a wounded witch. She most likely escaped her realm do to a riot by the townspeople demanding she be burned for her sins, logically. This being said, she was overwhelmed and hurt and needed to escape by coming in that room. Her wounds might have been neurological and be causing her to have seizures; or she is angry at the rebellion and she’s pacing the room for days devising a plan of revenge, which is logical because witches have no need for sleeping and due to their mystic-powers; 1 week in witches’ time is only 1 day human time. This makes sense. If it happens to be a witch, who is escaping a rioting mob, and she won’t return back through the waygate, I plan to enter the room with several large buckets of water, which i will use to dump on the witch to make her weak; and to finish her off i’ll use a mini-electronic keyboard to smash her with, as I have seen that a witch’s true weakness is being crushed by a piano, yet I cannot do that, so I assume a mini-keyboard is perfect and bashing her with it could do the same tricks. This is logical.

Wardrobe. Yes, what I fear the most out of the earlier two options. Yet, it seems unlikely that it is the wardrobe itself allowing creatures to constantly leave through the waygate and not just those select few that are chosen. Yes! That could be, logically, happening but I tend to doubt this. If this was the case that would mean several hundreds of creatures would be coming and going nonstop for four days now, but I believe that if this were the case, the creatures would have fought or something would have broken, yet, there is no evidence of a scuffle or any damages. I will leave wardrobe on the table but I am in doubt.

Drug-addicts. They cross my path daily because of my apartment complex’s location in the deep horn of the fatty bull, i.e. the shit end of a banquet for feeding. I have come home from my job, as a paranormal investigator several times to see homeless drug-addicts smoking away at their marijuana cigarettes, just chiefing their time away until they eventually chew the gum of death. Many times in my field of work i’ve seen homeless people that I assumed were paranormal phenomenons, but it always just happened to be several drug addicted people awaiting my arrival for them to laugh in my face. Wretch! If it happens to be drug addicts, i’ll flush their drugs down the toilet and report the incident to the authorities.

Drug-addicts dressed as Ghosts performing a ritual. Wretch! Wretches! The disgracing of the afterlife. Wretches! I’ll let the ghosts deal with them.

People Dancing. This is not a joke, but simply an assumption based around Murphy’s Law and a bit of Occam’s Razor combined. While I do 99% doubt this as the logical answer, I’ll give credit to my philosophical predecessors.

Anything else sinister. I would also like to categorize this group as “Anything else I didn’t guess originally.” How would I deal with this? Suicide. There are things I just can’t handle and this might be one of those things. So, I plan to take a .22 Revolver with me just in-case this go south and it’s something I cannot deal with. In that case, I leave my wife, Princess Jessica Blanc van Grekinheim, my entire estates, which include, and is limited to, my lease of $350 a month for my cozy apartment, my small tv that cannot connect to cable, my ghost hunting equipment, and my membership to Fitness Planet. I love you Jessica Blanc van Grekinheim and if the worse comes, like a wraith or soul-reaper, just know that i’ve always loved you from a far and that we could have been a perfect married couple together.

I plan to go into the apartment tonight. At 8pm sharp, I will, without knocking, open the door and prepare to eliminate whatever creature is in their making that noise.

It’s 7:50PM. I make my way through the stairs and towards the room. The hallways are eerie and without the presence of anything, I have a slight chilling sensation that something is actually here with me now; watching me, touching me, violating my private thoughts and infiltrating my plans. It’s almost as though there is a ghost guarding the very hallway leading up to the room to warn the others that someone is coming with the intentions of stopping me from finding it.

“I’m not crazy! Ghost. They’re real! And i’m going to get you on tape tonight, and show the entire world that you are real! And you cannot stop me now!”

The only thing left stopping me is the door. Something happened! The eyehole, the eyehole. There was something watching me from the eyehole! I knew there was something sinister in there. I knew it! Without pause I forced the door open, and though it was locked, there was no stopping my entire body’s weight focused in my shoulder from stopping me. I heard screaming. I was now inside the apartment. It seemed clean, tightly furnished, and well-kept. Not the typical environment for ghosts to hang around but it was also not the typical environment for drug-addicts to hang around, so that brought relieve.

I can feel it again! The ghosts, attempting to dissect my thoughts! “I know you’re here ghosts! I will find you! Don’t you try and stop me with your mind tricks!”

I followed the sound of the dancing through the living room and into the hallway. This model seemed bigger than mine, but I was always told that the higher up one goes in the apartment the better and more spacious the apartments become. I always thought that was a hoax but I guess it’s real. The apartment was empty but it was clear there someone was living there or at least someone was there recently. There was one last room that I hadn’t looked at yet and it seemed to be the loudest area of tapping. It was there. It was behind this wall that the tapping would be found and the source of constant mental fatigue would end. After 4 grueling days of nonstop thumping onto my skull, I was finally there. Finally ready to end what it was that no longer left me feeling sane.

 

“I’m not exactly sure detective Brown what his intentions were.”
“I understand, ma’am. I don’t understand it though. You know, we see stuff like this all the time, man comes into a house, kills himself and tries to make it look like someone else killed him, but here, he even recorded himself killing himself right in front of you. When I watched over the tape, ma’am, I noticed he said something to you right before he entered, something like uh, ‘the dancing ends now?’ You got, uh, any idea what that could mean?
“I wish I did, sir. I’ve never spoken to the man. I knew he lived below me but that’s about it. I’ve seen him maybe 5 times max, and next I know he’s busting through my bedroom door yelling something about ghosts and dancing.”
“I understand, ma’am. Look, I know this might be difficult, Ms. Grekinheim, but we might need to ask you more question within the next coming weeks. In the mean time, try to get some rest. Everything’s gonna be ok.”
“Okay. I think I’ll be fine. I’m just shaken up a bit.”
“That’s only logical. Thank you for your time.”
“Of course.”

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